I thought you may find this amusing

My sister lives in Canada and has done for over thirty years now retired she did work in the hospital she used to set out the instruments for the surgeon on duty and as far as I am aware she loved her job, and got ;promotion while working at the hospital

from time to time she will send me these little cartoons so I hope you enjoy as I did.

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennessee and West Virginians will no longer be
referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'


You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:  
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK'- She is a 'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not a 'SCREAMER' or a 'MOANER'- She is 'VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.'
3. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
4. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE 
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
5. She has not 'BEEN AROUND'- She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
6. She is not an 'AIRHEAD' - She is 'REALITY IMPAIRED.'
7. She does not get 'DRUNK' or 'TIPSY'-She gets 'CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.'
8. She does not have 'BREAST IMPLANTS' - She is 'MEDICALLY ENHANCED.'
9. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
10. She is not a 'TRAMP' - She is 'SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.'
11. She does not have 'MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS'- She is 'PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.'
12. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He  is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He is not a 'CRADLE ROBBER' - He prefers 'GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.'
6. He does not get 'FALLING-DOWN DRUNK' - He becomes 'ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL.'
7. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of
'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
8 He is not a 'MALE CHAUVINIST PIG' - He has 'SWINE EMPATHY.'
9. He is not afraid of 'COMMITMENT' - He is 'RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.'
10. He is not 'HORNY' - He is 'SEXUALLY FOCUSED.'
11. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR  CLEAVAGE '
Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it
more comfortable for the rest of us.

What a lovely place the Isle of Wight is Sheila and I went on Wednesday I was working taking a conveyer to a factory that makes Biscuits  The machines I deliver are metal detectors as all food industries now have to own one .

the company I delivered to didn't so a big supermarket owner told them to get one good for all of us as then we know our food is ok .

I drove to Portsmouth for the ferry so as it is from Manchester I drove approximate two hundred and fifty   miles to the ferry  and then a small ferry trip for half hour just long enough for me to have a rest from driving as I don't stop for a break ,as I like to keep going if I was to get tired I then would stop for a rest but that doesn't usually happen not on the outward journey sometimes it does returning .

The ferry cost was  £ 130 that included two passengers and the machine so not to bad ,

after I delivered the machine we went for a drive around the island very small so I went approximate 75% of the island and we then went for our dinner as by this time it was around 1.30 PM  after that we did a little shopping and then went back to the ferry I should add that the drive and shopping was all done in my own time I didn't get paid just in case someone from work is reading this  lol maybe pops the Salford City Radio man who still likes you to drop him a line  you will find him on the left of my space if you want a mention on the radio  lol

                                                another plug for pops

                                     And I never get a mention from him

I have added a little write up if your interested in going to the Isle of Wite with a couple of links to follow  so enjoy we did and are returning for a wk end soon

                        Welcome to the Isle of Wight

The Isle of Wight is the perfect place to enjoy a relaxing break, at any time of the year. It is a stunning Island with unspoilt scenery and a wealth of fascinating attractions. For the energetic, there are plenty of activities to enjoy, including windsurfing, sailing and paragliding. And for those who wish to escape the modern world, we're sure you'll leave the Island having found exactly what you were looking for.

Plan your Isle of Wight holiday with the official tourist board guide to accommodation, places to visit, outdoor activities and events on the Isle of Wight.

The minute you step on the ferry there is a sense of chilling out. For a stress free, fun family holiday the Island is popular all year round. And for those who like a physical challenge, if it's an adventure holiday you are after then look no further. With over half the Island designated as an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty and a network of footpaths that stretches over 500 miles it's easy to get close to nature. Alternatively, if you are looking for somewhere to be spoilt then indulge yourself in the Isle of Wight's fine restaurants, art galleries and historic houses.

                                                                      world reviewer on Isle of Wight

Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember...

what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant for they, too, have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons;  they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however, humble;  it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is. Many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham and drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Derek  Acora

***************************************************** 

Life is a Journey
Live it in Peace

We can but only try

Mike vale senior